


The Horrible Beauty of Letting Go

by just_crying_idk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anime, Death, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Moving On, Sad, daisuga - Freeform, haikyu!! - Freeform, nice ending
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:21:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29624796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/just_crying_idk/pseuds/just_crying_idk
Summary: After Sugawara’s death, his spirit roams the earth looking for what keeps him tied to it. Eventually discovering that he has a missing mission on earth and must fulfill it in order to rest in peace.
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi & Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Hello! :D

Hello there!!  
I hope you’re having a great day, drink water, eat something, I’m proud of you and ily:)) <3

So I just wanted to clear some stuff and that’s it.

-I’m sorry if there’s any mistakes. English is not my first language so you can imagine the struggle hsjdbfjd.

-If there are any mistakes please let me know so I can change them as fast as I can.

-I don’t own Haikyu!! Or any of its characters.

-I don’t own any of the quotes, most of them I found them on Pinterest.

-I know I’m not an expert writer but I still hope you can enjoy it.

-I wrote this for fun so I don’t know what to tag.

Have a nice day!!


	2. We'll be okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The trouble is, you think you have time” -Buddha

As Daichi was placing the white and yellow bouquet of flowers against his now, dead boyfriend’s gravestown, reading what the stone had written over it, “Sugawara Koushi, 1994-2019” at the short-age of 25 Koushi died because of lung cancer, it all started with tiny coughs, leading to coughing blood and making him have to stay in a hospital bed.

The memories of Daichi brought him back to when he was still there... 

_

[21st November, 2018]

“Hey Daichi! Look at this puppy” Sugawara yelled at Daichi while he placed the dishes back in their picnic basket.

“Oh, hey buddy! Where did it come from?” Daichi asked, watching how the white-haired man pet the tiny, brown haired labrador retriever. 

“I don't know, it just came out of nowhere haha” The old setter of karasuno laughed at how the pup licked his hand, “We should adopt one of these when we get our house”

_

Some time later, Sugawara and Daichi packed all their picnic stuff and went to Daichi’s apartment.

“I’m glad we could go out on a date, because of our schedules we haven’t seen each other as often as before” Sugawara said while hugging his tall boyfriend from behind, both looking at the view from the balcony in the brown-haired’s apartment.

“It's nice to think about something else than a job sometimes, plus I love to spend time with you ” Daichi turned around still wrapped by his boyfriend's arms giving him a warm and comforting hug. Taking his face in between his hands making the white-haired look up at him, Daichi looked at all of his facial factions, admiring the beauty of his gorgeous soul mate. After a couple of minutes (that felt like hours to the lovers) Daichi kissed the beauty mark underneath Koushi's left eye.

It was peaceful and perfect. Both lovers enjoying each other's company. Soon that peace ended with a loud cough from the smaller one.

“Are you okay? Suga I think it’s time to get inside. It’s getting cold and I don’t want you to get sick, you’ve been having these coughs quite often and I’m worried” Instead of a reply what he got was silence. Daichi looked down at his significant other, it was strange for his small lover to not respond, usually he would say a “I’m fine” or “You sound like my mother, stop worrying” but this time he got no response. 

His body tensed at his sight, looking at his boyfriend's hand with small drops of blood. 

“Koushi! Are you okay? What happened? Why are you bleeding?” Suga could only see the terror in the eyes of Daichi. 

“I’m fine Daichi. Uhm, I’m fine! There’s no need to worry” Sawamura could see his boyfriend was just as confused as he was, but at least the smile on Suga’s face made him worry less.

“Fine, but I’m still worried. Please go to the doctor” The smaller one placed a hand on the shoulder of the taller one and motioned with his other hand to Daichi to lower himself to his height.

After he did so, Sugawara whispered to him, “I’m fine, look” and showed him a bright smile before placing a sweet kiss on Daichi’s lips. The mentioned one blushed and enjoyed the moment, trusting the words of his significant other.

They both thought that with time this would get better but it did otherwise. The coughing wouldn’t stop and the blood would increase. Sawamura’s worries and fears grew more and more, not letting him sleep. The only way he could get peace was to know what was wrong with his lover and so he took his boyfriend to the hospital, hoping for the best.

_

“Sugawara Koushi” The tall, black-haired doctor said while placing his pen into his coat’s pocket. “I’m afraid to inform you, you have an aggressive case of Large-cell carcinoma. The time you have left is 1 year or less, of course with treatment we could increase this or maybe if we have luck get rid of the cancer completely” That was the moment Daichi’s world fell down, he wanted to cry right there, he didn’t care about anything else but the person he loved who would either die or live.

He felt a comforting hand on his, looking up to his boyfriend watching him take it better than he ever expected.

“Okay, thank you doctor... I prefer to live the rest of my life the best way I can which is spending it next to the person I love, so I won’t be taking the treatment”

Those words were worse. Those words felt like a boat sinking in and drowning everyone inside of it.

Arriving home it was all worse. The couple had a big argument, Daichi wanted Sugawara to take the treatment and save his life, but Suga wanted to live the best he could and not in a hospital bed. Sawamura couldn’t do anything else but respect the decision Suga made, it hurt him, but he had to accept it.

Time went quickly, both had travelled a lot and spent a lot of time together trying to make as many memories as they could.

Both dying, in different ways.

Koushi looked worse every time, coughing with blood increasing on his palm each time he coughed, his body was thinner and paler, breathing problems and spending most of his time with aches.

Daichi was slowly dying inside, he tried to be strong for his love but the fact he would have to live without him made him almost throw up.

“We’ll be okay” those words were the only ones roaming around their heads.


	3. Last Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "When we lose someone we love we must learn not to live without them, but to live with the love they left behind." -Anonymus

[2nd December, 2019]

“Hey Suga-” Daichi ran to his barely breathing boyfriend and placed him in his arms, taking him to the car and driving as fast as he could to the nearest hospital.

He felt his heart beating faster as he passed each car, trying to drive as fast as he could without putting in risk both of their lives.

When he arrived at the emergency part, he yelled for help. A nurse ran out of the hospital checking the situation and yelled to another nurse. To him it sounded like blabbering, everything was spinning and Daichi couldn´t think straight, he wanted to throw up, but he kept it in and tried his best not to faint. 

Soon, two doctors and around 3 nurses brought a hospital gurney, placing the white-haired man on it while checking his pulse.

“Sugawara Koushi please stay with me. Suga, I implore you please stay. You can't go yet” he thought while nurses and doctors took the love of his life inside the hospital.

They had told Daichi hours later that Koushi’s state wasn’t looking great and he should say his goodbye.

He felt his heart pounding. Why? Out of all people, why did Suga have to go through this? 

Walking through the white halls, seeing sick people and closed doors gave him anxiety. He arrived at room 276 in which he was told his boyfriend was, he opened the door slowly seeing Suga with a breathing mask and his pale and thin form in a hospital gown, sitting down watching at the sunset fall slowly from his hospital room.

The big guy with his hair made a mess, sat beside his boyfriend.

“Look at how pretty the sky looks. Do you remember, when we were still in highschool, we would sit after practice and admire the colors of the sky before running to the other guys?” he said while smiling at the beautiful view and beautiful memories.

They both looked at each other with nostalgia, remembering all of their life together.

“Sugawara, I love you. You know that?” Sawamura said while taking his boyfriends hands in between his.

“I do big guy, I do” Suga squeezed their hands together trying hard to not break his smile while Daichi started to tear up.

“I’ll miss you a lot. I don’t- I don’t want you to go” The tall black haired placed his forehead on their hands.

“Daichi Sawamura. Man up! You’re stronger than- than you- look” His words cut by his own coughing.

“I love you Daichi” Sugawara said with a loving smile while his last breaths took place. “I wish we could’ve had more memories together. You know, get that house we wanted, adopt a cute labrador retriever… with time, start a family, and grow up together”

The white-haired, knew that Daichi was hurt so he didn’t expect an answer and kept talking.

“I read somewhere something that said ‘I have faith that I held purpose in your life; that we both impacted one another for the better. Even if we couldn’t stay together’. Daichi, I know I might be asking too much but, please live your life the best way you can. Achieve your dreams. I might not be here physically but know that a piece of my heart is there with you. I love yo…”

No. No. No. Daichi didn’t realize it but as soon as the machine started beeping tears streamed down his face.

He felt like a piece of him was suddenly taken away from him.

He met Sugawara in his first year of high school, fell in love and started dating. They both promised each other forever.

How could he suddenly move on and replace 8 years of relationship with someone, not just someone, his most loved treasure.

His knees felt weak as some nurses ran inside the room and took Daichi outside, telling him that he couldn’t be in there.

It felt like hours until a doctor came outside.

“Hello, Daichi-san was it? It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Doctor Akari” she said while sitting next to the grieving male.

“I’m so sorry to inform you about Sugawara Koushi’s death. I’m so sorry for your loss. If you need any help let us know” the female doctor finished by bowing and finally leaving Daichi alone.


End file.
